There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
