One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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