Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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