I'm lost and stupid without you.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
