i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
