Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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