I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
