He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
