How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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