He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
