The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
