Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize