I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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