my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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