I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
