On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize