I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
