dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
