so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i've created a new STD.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
