We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize