I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Enjoy the penises
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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