One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
