Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
