I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
