if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am mentally ready for anal.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
