butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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