For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
