Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
