Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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