Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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