She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
