Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
