Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
