So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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