saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
