I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My balls are so social today.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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