I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
