the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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