finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
