Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
