Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i will never coherently bang her
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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