Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
