can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
