yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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