i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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