he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
