you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
