I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
