he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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