So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
