it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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