I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
