I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
