im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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