you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
