saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You made out with two different species that night
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
