dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
