All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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