the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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