Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
