craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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