I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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