He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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