Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize