Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
