You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
