just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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