he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
